he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
