I'm really into asian looking animals
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
What a dumb baby whore.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
