i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
