who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
