Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
