I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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