Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
