I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Drake has all the answers
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
How naked do you want me to be?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
