Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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