im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
