So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Semen is not good for contacts.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
