just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
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He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
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Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!