LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?