You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
