I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Randomize
