worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
