Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
