everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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