Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
It's shark week go big or go home
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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