We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
this will be a night to untag.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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