So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
