that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
