ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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