The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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