She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
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French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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