i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The air was thick with penises
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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