the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
This is my gift to your gina
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
