I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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