Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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