I wanna bring you to show and tell
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
