so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
