i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
