Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
