I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize