i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
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We just shotgunned beers for America
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
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This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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