I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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