I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
