Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
