If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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