i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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