Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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