I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
