i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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