If i come over, it means nothing
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
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what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
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