thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
