i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
