i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
