i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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