This girl is more easily done than said...
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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