That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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