He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
