so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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