i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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