i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You can't motorboat a personality
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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