"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
