I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
