It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
