The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
