I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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