i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
