So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
