Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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