with your own penis?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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